


welcome to hell

by graycoal



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: F/F, Lets be real friends the straights are fake, M/M, Multi, So many musical mentions, chat fic, hi matt, it gets pretty gay, lgbtq+, many memes, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-05 23:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graycoal/pseuds/graycoal
Summary: It's a Newsies group chat!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chat Names:
> 
> KingofNY: Jack  
> PaulMcCrutchie: Crutchie  
> DavidJacobs: take a guess  
> PullthePlumber: Katherine  
> Heyit'sSaz: Sarah  
> Zoom-Zoom: Racetrack  
> BrooklynHere: Spot  
> notApirate: Blink  
> Mushmellow: Mush  
> Freckles: freckedup  
> SpecQlation: Specs  
> Roman: Romeo  
> Mr. Darcy: Darcy  
> Billiam: Bill

KingofNY added - PaulMcCrutchie, DavidJacobs, PullthePlumber, Heyit'sSaz, Zoom-Zoom, BrooklynHere, notApirate, Mushmellow, freckedup, SpecQlation, Roman, Mr. Darcy, and Billiam - to the chat. 

KingofNY: hey hey

Zoom-Zoom: greetings, fuckers

freckedup - changed the group name to 'welcome to hell'

notApirate: u piece of c r a p

freckedup: ;)

David Jacobs: Blink, why are you so upset?

notApirate: ...

Mushmellow: Blink dumped a can of monster into his coffee before last years finals and then stood up halfway through the test and screamed: 'welcome to hell motherfuckers' 

notApirate: asdfghjkl

freckedup: I just can't put mf in the title because I know Darcys mum checks his phone

Mr. Darcy: thx 

freckedup: no prob

BrooklynHere: where...

BrooklynHere: ...where am I 

PullthePlumber: Hell

BrooklynHere: I assumed that much

SpecQlation: fantastic

Heyit'sSaz: b e a s t s 

Billiam: a n d 

notApirate: w h e r e 

Mr. Darcy: t o 

Zoom-Zoom: get rekt

PaulMcCrutchie: ah, don't be rude, race. You ruined the whole chain :( 

KingofNY: Crutchie!!! Hello!!! 

DavidJacobs: <3 <3 

PaulMcCrutchie: hey??? :D

freckedup: where have you been, dear child?

PaulMcCrutchie: doing homework, freckles. we're legit in the same room.

freckedup: overachiever. 

PullthePlumber: gEt YoUr HoMeWoRk DoNe KidDoS

Mushmellow: nO thanks, mom

Heyit'sSaz: don't disrespect your mother, Michael. 

SpecQlation: Davey's the mom friend. Get your facts STRAIGHT. 

BrooklynHere: what is a 's t r a i g h t'?

Billiam: a m y t h 

PaulMcCrutchie: a story parents told at night to scare young children.

KingofNY: f e a r T h e S t r a I g h t s 

Zoom-Zoom: the gays will r u l e 

Heyit'sSaz: how much would one of you pay me to audition for the school musical with a Bo Burnham song

KingofNY: off topic question. But a lot.

Mr. Darcy: so much

DavidJacobs: Sarah, no. 

PullthePlumber: sarah YES

KingofNY: w-w-what did I do last night night?

PaulMcCrutchie: *techno pop music*

DavidJacobs: I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP

KingofNY: @PaulMcCrutchie @DavidJacobs <3 <3 <3

Mushmellow: saz only if you do 'Sad'

notApirate: nO no no she needs to do 'Repeat Stuff'

Zoom-Zoom: deep throat that microphone, saz. 

BrooklynHere: @Zoom-Zoom d e e p t h r o a t m e 

DavidJacobs: Stop, you Heathens 

Billiam: all my friends are heathens take it slow

freckedup: saz Crutchie and I have decided that we will give you five dollars to do Ironic 

Heyit'sSaz: ding ding ding Freckles and Crutchie win

Mushmellow: Fuck

notApirate: UGH

PaulMcCrutchie: yesss!!!

Heyit'sSaz: the Jacobs siblings are sweeping thr competition 

SpecQlation: I'm so fucking hyped for the musical

Mr. Darcy: me too! 

Zoom-Zoom: r u two talking outside the main chat? That's i l l e g a l 

PaulMcCrutchie: I'm at Freckles's house. We just told you this

notApirate: wait where's Romeo he's usually the first person in these chats

SpecQlation: he's camping. No wifi :(

KingofNY: poor you. 

SpecQlation: ikr

BrooklynHere: saz when are auditions 

SpecQlation: and we're gonna ignore my problems?

BrooklynHere: thIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW

Heyit'sSaz: next Tuesday & Wednesday 

Heyit'sSaz: I'm sorry for you, specs

SpecQlation: it's fiNE

freckedup: Crutchie and I are watching Disney movies because we ARE C H I L D R E N 

PaulMcCrutchie: also I'm using One Jump Ahead from Aladdin as my audition piece so we're watching that 

PullthePlumber: YES

DavidJacobs: You're gonna rock it, Babe! :)

PaulMcCrutchie: as are youuuu (your voice sounds great with the song you chose)

notApirate: what song did Davey choose?

DavidJacobs: Michael in the Bathroom

Mushmellow: ASDFGHJKL

KingofNY: this is getting gay and im not involved 

PaulMcCrutchie: you're gonna rock set design, hot stuff ;)

DavidJacobs: <3 :)

KingofNY: I have been satisfied 

Zoom-Zoom: dorks

Heyit'sSaz: I'm gonna call Davey out in this he needs to stop listening to Candy Store because it's been around 30 times now and im getting sick of it

Heyit'sSaz: GHOSTBUSTER DUBSTEP ISN'T ANY BETTER DAVID TURN IT OFF

DavidJacobs: SArah

BrooklynHere: lmao he listens to dubstep

notApirate: lIkE a LigHt SwItCh

Mushmellow: just go BAP

SpecQlation: really what's so hard ABOUT tHAT

Billiam: as much as i respect BOM, it's time for everyone to go to bed.

Mr. Darcy: killjoy

Billiam: u love me 

SpecQlation: this is getting too gay

PullthePlumber: everyone it's bedtime SHUT THE HECK UP

Zoom-Zoom: Kath we all know you're gonna stay up all night I watched u down those three cups of coffee at lunch

PullthePlumber: I pulled an all nighter yesterday 

KingofNY: someone bring Kath some Nyquil or something

Heyit'sSaz: on it

PullthePlumber: thx babe

Mushmellow: some of us have tests tomorrow and are trying to sleep 

PaulMcCrutchie: mute the chat

Zoom-Zoom: nO 

Zoom-Zoom: never mute the chat 

DavidJacobs: BED TIME


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know
> 
> This chapter is a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!
> 
> Thanks for all of the views!!!

-7:42 AM-

 

Roman: lmao Dave listens to dubstep???

DavidJacobs: Perhaps

SpecQlation: why tho (also HEY BABE)

DavidJacobs: Keeps me focused. Gets me going. Ready to rock and roll!

Heyit'sSaz: I stg Davey turn off the dubstep it's 7 in the morning 

Roman: omfg he's listening to it now??? (HEY BABE)

notApirate: it's a weekend why are ya'll up

BrooklynHere: why are you gays up

PullthePlumber: LMAO

Mr. Darcy: was that intentional 

BrooklynHere:...sure?

Zoom-Zoom: WHO SUMMONED ME?

Billiam: go back to bed you shit heads 

freckedup: ^^RT^^

KingofNY: you've awoken

KingofNY: me

Mushmellow: you fuckers 

PaulMcCrutchie: Oh jeez thanks for waking me guys I have work today

PullthePlumber: what a pure soul

notApirate: the only one who can find they good out of this chat

Roman: Kath I'm gonna bet $5 bucks that you didn't sleep last night

PullthePlumber: I shant place money on that since its true

SpecQlation: KATH GO TO BED

PullthePlumber: nO

Zoom-Zoom: Saz do something about your gf

Heyit'sSaz: omw over rn 

PullthePlumber: honey I'm fine 

DavidJacobs: Saz just jumped out the window and onto the fire escape. There's no going back now.

Mr. Darcy: Kath. I live right next door to you. Bill was with me. We could hear you listening to John Mulaney skits at four in the morning 

Billiam: WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT, WHOA OH OH OH

KingofNY: IT'S NOT UNUSUAL 

PullthePlumber: DON'T INSULT THE TALL CHILD

Heyit'sSaz: Kath open your door 

PullthePlumber: see you losers later

BrooklynHere: GET IT KATH

DavidJacobs: Spot that's my sister you're talking about!

freckedup: You bunch of shitheads need Jesus.

notApirate: zzzzzz

Roman: bliNK IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP

notApirate: ZZZZZZZZ

\- 9:13 AM - 

Mushmellow: yo Crutchie where do you work 

SpecQlation: he's probably already at work 

PaulMcCrutchie: Starbucks

Mushmellow: nice

KingofNY: AREN'T YOU AT WORK YOU SHOULD BE WORKING

PaulMcCrutchie: yeah but it's slow 

Zoom-Zoom: DO YOUR JOB CRUTCHIE

Zoom-Zoom: I WILL REPORT YOU TO YOUR MANAGER 

KingofNY: DON'T TALK TO MINE AND DAVID'S BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT

DavidJacobs: ^^^^RT RT

PaulMcCrutchie: lmao guys calm down

KingofNY: NEVER

DavidJacobs: ^^^^RT RT RT 

BrooklynHere: crutch man I'm coming to get a coffee. You know how I order it, my dude. don't report Crutchie, race. He's the only barista at that Starbucks who gets my order right

PaulMcCrutchie: on it!

Mr. Darcy: ooh I'm gonna stop in for lunch

Billiam: me too

DavidJacobs: Let's all get lunch there! Babe, when's your break?

PaulMcCrutchie: 1:30

KingofNY: I can confirm that I will be there everyone confirm 

DavidJacobs: Confirm 

Billiam: confirm 

Mr. Darcy: confirm

SpecQlation: c o n f i r m

Roman: confirmed 

freckedup: my mom says i can go. So confirmed 

Mushmellow: yes confirms

notApirate: smash that confirm button 

BrooklynHere: confirm

Zoom-Zoom: confirm it

Heyit'sSaz: Kath and I confirm she's sleeping rn so she can't reply

DavidJacobs: How the Heck did you get her to sleep?

Heyit'sSaz: mystical ways, brother mine. 

Zoom-Zoom: *sent link* FuckMeJerryVineCompilation 

Roman: out of the blue, but n i c e 

freckedup: here's my number! 

KingofNY: so FUCK me JERRY

BrooklynHere: got my coffee

BrooklynHere: *sent photo* MeAndCrutchieAndCoffee

DavidJacobs: Awww!

KingofNY: our bf is goals

DavidJacobs: our relationship is #goals

freckedup: this is getting gay but im gonna say that yeah your relationship is #goals

Zoom-Zoom: Spot you're looking fine

BrooklynHere: lol thanks

SpecQlation: freckles you have a partner 

SpecQlation: shouldn't your relationship be goals

freckedup: it's not goals yet. But soon. It will be. 

KingofNY: your partner is like really nice, so I think you will be (more chill) goals in the near future

notApirate: oh that reminds me 

notApirate: apparently I screamed 'its from Japan' last night in my sleep

Mushmellow: you are actual Be More Chill trash

Billiam: aren't we all?

Mr. Darcy: RT

freckedup: lmao my brother just yelled at me for saying "I swear to god" in a Boston accent over and over again XD

Roman: but...why

BrooklynHere: vine reference?

Zoom-Zoom: i'm sad that I know which vine you're referring to. 

Mushmellow: "mason I swaya ta gawd"

DavidJacobs: At least it's not like the time Jack walked around his house doing the Spongebob laugh for a solid twenty minutes until Medda told him he was grounded. 

Heyit'sSaz: Jack you are a 17 year old man

freckedup: that's amazing oh em gosh

KingofNY: tbh, it was worth it 

notApirate: r ya ready kids?!?!

SpecQlation: ay Aylish captain!!!

BrooklynHere: I CAN'T HERE YOU

Mr. Darcy: *inhales* *screams* AY AY CAPTAIN

Billiam: hey uh BOM fans

Roman: *everyone listens* 

Billiam: Mcpricely has been confirmed by the actors who play Conner and Kevin

KingofNY: ...

KingofNY: Bill if ur lying I swear to god ur dead

Billiam: nah dude I just saw it on pinterest

Zoom-Zoom: lmao u still use Pinterest?

DavidJacobs: Race, just yesterday I saw you looking at Destiel fanart on your Pinterest account.

Zoom-Zoom: ... SECRET pinterest account 

Billiam: *sent photo* TheGayIsReal

Mr. Darcy: holy shit

Heyit'sSaz: well this is the best day of my LIFE

freckedup: OMFG YES 

PaulMcCrutchie: yesss!!! My OTP is confirmed!!!

Mushmellow: crutch have u been here the whole time

PaulMcCrutchie: I've been

PaulMcCrutchie: l u r k i n g 

BrooklynHere: Crutchie, the ninja 

PaulMcCrutchie: *does sick backflip*

freckedup: *gasp* you never needed that crutch, did you?!?!

PaulMcCrutchie: correct, you fools just never realized. 

notApirate: don't you have a job to get to? ;)

PaulMcCrutchie: fine, spoil sport :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy
> 
> I hope this chapter is to your liking :)


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read forth and have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did most of this when my class was playing Kahoot in math.
> 
> Whoop-dee-do let's get to it!

-3:41 PM-

freckedup: Crutchie your brothers and I made cookies do you want us to save some for you in case we eat them all?

PaulMcCrutchie: ooh yes please

SpecQlation: whoa wait

SpecQlation: you have brothers?

PaulMcCrutchie: yeah. Morris and Oscar Delancey 

notApirate: whAT

PaulMcCrutchie: ...what?

notApirate: MORRIS AND OSCAR DELANCEY ARE YOUR BROTHERS?!?!?

PaulMcCrutchie: big brothers, yeah.

DavidJacobs: You didn't know that?

KingofNY: Crutchies last name is Delancey, you ding dongs

BrooklynHere: even /I/ knew this information 

freckedup: *sent a photo* OscarAndMorrisAreCrutchiesBrosConfirmed

PullthePlumber: Omfg

Roman: what is it it's not showing on my phone

Heyit'sSaz: Morris is wearing an apron and oven mitts while flexing and Oscar has a cookie in his mouth and is making a weird face. 

PullthePlumber: Omfg

Zoom-Zoom: n i c e 

Mushmellow: they're not that nice

PaulMcCrutchie: they're o v e r p r o t e c t i v e 

KingofNY: yeah they told me and Davey that if we hurt Crutchie in any way we'd never been seen or heard from again 

PaulMcCrutchie: O V E R P R O T E C T I V E 

DavidJacobs: They're pretty intense.

freckedup: Oscar just said that if anyone posts this they're dead 

notApirate: wowzers

Mr. Darcy: freckles, why are you at Crutchies house without Crutchie?

freckedup: um...because my mom won't be home for a few hours and Crutchie lives next door? And Oscar and Morris are fantastic bakers?

Billiam: ur only there for the baked goods #confirmed 

freckedup: that and Oscar is insanely good at math which is something I desperately need help in 

DavidJacobs: Freckles if you need help in math, I'm always here. 

freckedup: I thought of that but you have chess club and key club after school nearly every day. 

Roman: lmao nerd

notApirate: Romeo you're in jazz and pep band

Roman: CHORUS BOY

PullthePlumber: you moron we're all in chorus 

Billiam: and show choir

PaulMcCrutchie: well, technically, TECHNICALLY, I'm a behind the scenes guy. 

Mr. Darcy: the BEST behind the scenes guy

BrooklynHere: crutch babe you are AMAZING

Zoom-Zoom: we couldn't do show choir without you :)

PaulMcCrutchie: you guys are too kind 

DavidJacobs: <3 <3 <3 

KingofNY: ^^^

PaulMcCrutchie: freckles I'm tutoring for another hour. Are you fine with hanging out with my brothers?

PullthePlumber: he had baked goods I think he's fine 

freckedup: yeah I'm good :)

Romeo: what are you guys doing rn

freckedup: watching Fairly Odd Parents

freckedup: Oscar does an on point Cosmo impression 

Heyit'sSaz: N I C E 

Mushmellow: videos or it didn't happened 

notApirate: I never knew I needed this until today

freckedup: *sent a video* OscarIsTheNewCosmo

BrooklynHere: life = made

SpecQlation: OMFG 

Billiam: asdfghjkl

Mr. Darcy: yES I LOVE IT

Zoom-Zoom: what a talented boi

DavidJacobs: True talent right there.

KingofNY: the sound I just made was not human lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to end chapters whoops

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Hell, friends!
> 
> Sorry if this chapter went fast.


End file.
